So I have this job where 90% of my time, no wait, scratch that, 99% of my time is spent doing things entirely unrelated to work. You could say that my department is lacking in organization, or you could say that my department is just lacking in organization. As a result of the non-existent work load, I have ample time to 'browse' news articles on the internet. Today, I thought to browse the "weird news" happenings. In doing so, I came across an article regarding male chest implants. No, not male 'breast' implants; male 'chest' implants.
After reading some of the article (I couldn't finish it... or even get half-way because, the chest implants occurring mostly in San Francisco [Surprise!], a San Francisco man was interviewed. He was your 'stereotypical' San Francisco man... like, oh my gosh!... yeah, that kind.), I thought, "What a ridiculously dumb idea!" Let me explain why...
Okay, think about it. Some people get tattoos that circumnavigate their bulging biceps because they actually look kind of cool, BUT others of us make fun of those people because in 10, 15, 20, or so years, the tattoos they get won't look half as good as they do now, mostly because the bulging bicep atrophies to become an abnormal abscess complete with it's own extra large insulating flap of darkened skin. What is going to happen when these men, who most likely will discontinue their workout routine as early as a couple weeks after the New Year, if they even have one, begin to lose their sculpted "300" imitation figures? Talk about your double-D man-boobs. Maybe I should try to reinstate the "Bro" to make a buck or two.
Either that or they will maintain their Abercrombie model style pecs whilst toting around a "fat pack," as was once coined by a friend of mine (Simo Atagi) whilst comparing our abs of underdeveloped steel. How would they cope then? My suggestion, try Glenn Beck's new product, "Explain Away," that way they can avoid explanation altogether.
Regardless of what happens, I can sense a growing trend of 'buyers remorse' amongst the almost-nearly back-up fill-in substitute cast for "300," as well as a nationwide epidemic of over-grown and oddly shaped man-boobs.
Ah, the male ego... isn't it grand!
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